What don't I understand? I could write a book.
People always say that. That they could write a book about the things they don't know. That they could write a book about what they don't understand. That they could write a book.
Me? I can't write anything about what I don't understand. I don't know it, I don't know where to start. For instance, here are some things I can't write about:
-Life Goals
Depends on the day. A general theme is there, but, it's nothing definite.
Now, maybe this here is an opening chapter. In the book of shit I don't know. And tomorrow, I'll find out something else I don't know. Singletons in programming? I know they exist. That's chapter two.
-Chapter Three
Is about dragons, and what kind of tooth paste they use. I don't have a clue. But judging based on the term 'dragon breath', I'm guessing they don't floss.
-Chapter Four
Will go on to talk in depth about how I'm not really sure what chapter four is about. It was originally going to be about complex origami and math, but then I read a little about that, and thought it was too much to not know. So I tried to write it about the manufacture of plastic forks and spoons, but Google screwed that all up. I could then only move on to how I don't know what polypropylene or polystyrene actually are. Then I started looking that up, and then it became apparent that I'd just never know what this chapter was about.
How does it end? It doesn't. This book will never end, it can't be written. Or, maybe, I'm not sure. Maybe it can always be written.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Narrator Battle
She walked to the store.
她走路到商店了。
She wanted a very red apple.
她要了一个很红色的苹果。
She took the apple to the register.
她...
《hold on a second buddy. I don't know the word for register, and you know that. What are you doing here?》 (Sorry, should she steal the apple then?) 《if you can say that.》(Fine.)
She stole the apple.
她把苹果偷走了。
(Wait a second. I don't really know what you're saying, but '苹果' is the only thing that's the same. I'm pretty sure I said, 'She stole the apple.' Not 'nonsense apple nonsense nonsense.' 《It's the same. Trust me. Like, just continue the story.》(Fine.)
She ate the apple.
她吃了。她觉得苹果很好吃了。
(That was definitely two sentences. Are you sure you're translating this right?) 《Yeah, she ate the apple, can we move on?》(Fine.)
She returned to the store.
她没再去到了商店。
She wanted a very blue apple.
他一定不想了一个很蓝色的苹果。
(Alright, screw you, I just got a translator, SHE definitely did want a blue apple.) 《Why? That's not a thing. And aren't people people? So what if it's a boy or a girl who doesn't want the abomination of an apple.》She wanted the apple! That's what I said, that's what you say. That's how this works.) 《How much does your translator cost?》 (...) ($50 an hour) 《I'll do it for half that much.》(Fine.)《Salary*》(Salary for you, fine for me.)
She ate the apple like a bear.
苹果跟灰熊一样吃了。
(Okay. What does that say then?) 《She eats the apple the same way she eats a bear.》(Why... why does it say that?) 《That's what you said.》(No it isn't.) 《Yes it is.》
(...)
(...)
(You're fired.) 《I quit.》 (Fine.) 《Attractive*》
她走路到商店了。
She wanted a very red apple.
她要了一个很红色的苹果。
She took the apple to the register.
她...
《hold on a second buddy. I don't know the word for register, and you know that. What are you doing here?》 (Sorry, should she steal the apple then?) 《if you can say that.》(Fine.)
She stole the apple.
她把苹果偷走了。
(Wait a second. I don't really know what you're saying, but '苹果' is the only thing that's the same. I'm pretty sure I said, 'She stole the apple.' Not 'nonsense apple nonsense nonsense.' 《It's the same. Trust me. Like, just continue the story.》(Fine.)
She ate the apple.
她吃了。她觉得苹果很好吃了。
(That was definitely two sentences. Are you sure you're translating this right?) 《Yeah, she ate the apple, can we move on?》(Fine.)
She returned to the store.
她没再去到了商店。
She wanted a very blue apple.
他一定不想了一个很蓝色的苹果。
(Alright, screw you, I just got a translator, SHE definitely did want a blue apple.) 《Why? That's not a thing. And aren't people people? So what if it's a boy or a girl who doesn't want the abomination of an apple.》She wanted the apple! That's what I said, that's what you say. That's how this works.) 《How much does your translator cost?》 (...) ($50 an hour) 《I'll do it for half that much.》(Fine.)《Salary*》(Salary for you, fine for me.)
She ate the apple like a bear.
苹果跟灰熊一样吃了。
(Okay. What does that say then?) 《She eats the apple the same way she eats a bear.》(Why... why does it say that?) 《That's what you said.》(No it isn't.) 《Yes it is.》
(...)
(...)
(You're fired.) 《I quit.》 (Fine.) 《Attractive*》
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