Going Out

Peter had been trying, unsuccessfully, to get his girlfriend to go out to the bar with him.  He felt, when in a committed relationship, or at the very least a relationship where he'd feel bad about telling his girlfriend about sleeping with her sister, that it was hard to keep the spontineity alive.  And the potted plants alive.  And the hamster.

"If we go out we're going to have spend money." Sandra said. Sitting on a couch, buffing her nails and seeming quite relaxed.

"Or mug people" Peter offered.  He was putting on his shoes.

Sandra rolled her eyes.  "Mugging people is hard." She said.  "And besides, getting dressed is a hassle.  Just like... something else that's a hassle."

"Come on, we haven't been out in forever." Peter said. Peter picked up his keys off their hook by the door.  He was now just standing by the door, occasionally glancing up from his phone and the time.

"Well, what if guys like, try to pick me up?  Or buy me drinks?  You don't like it when they buy me drinks." Sandra said.

It was true Peter thought.  Boys at bars would buy her drinks, hoping for her phone number, or sex, or ballet lessons.  She really had to stop wearing leotards out to the bar.

"Oh, what if I wear my leotard?  I love that.  I'll go get ready." Sandra said.  She nearly skipped towards the bedroom.

"Actually honey." Peter said.  He took off his shoes, and sat down on the couch.  He began buffing his nails and looking quite comfortable.  "Maybe we should stay in tonight.  Who wants to deal with those creepy guys staring at you with their mouth agape."

"Honey, we've talked about that.  You have a medical condition, it's okay that your mouth hangs open." Sandra said from the bedroom.  She was applying lipstick to her upper lip.  She pressed her lips together.  "Are you driving?"

"Oh.  Uh my car's in the shop." Peter said.  He took off his shoes, and pulled a blanket off the back of the couch.  He turned on Netflix and selected 'Meet Joe Black.'  "Besides, I forgot I have an early meeting.  If I drink tonight it could affect my performance."

"There's always viagra." Sandra said coming out of the bedroom.

"I'm just going to stay in tonight." Peter said.  Brad Pitt was smiling on the television, drinking coffee and being charming.  "Besides, you can never be sure about what kind of girl you pick up at your apartment, whether she has all her teeth."

Sandra showed her teeth in what could have been a smile, if it weren't a growl.

"Or whether or not she finished high school." Peter said.

Sandra sat down next to Peter on the couch.  "Yeah, but at least you don't have to worry about them putting out."  She lifted up the blanket and settled in next to him.

Onward the night went, with bouts of Anthony Hopkins and extravagant parties.