Apartment Hunting

Time to go find an apartment.  The word apartment comes from the Latin roots, "apart", to be away from, and "meant", where you meant to end up living.  There's also condos, which is short for "Confidence men do rip you off."  In this scenario the confidence men are landlords((Hairy land whales that were stuffed into a wife beater and are actually serfs)) and they'll rip off your arms and your wallet.

It's 98 degrees on the planes of the nieghborhood you hope to live in.  With a straw hat on your head, and an elephant gun in hand, you're ready to shoot a lot of land ladies.  You go to your first three apartments, and it goes pretty smoothly.  They only attempt to poison you with a tuna fish sandwich once, and their offers of obviously questionable "Poland Springs," aka "communist water," are met with stares that say you mean to call them idiots and question the deftness of how their mother dressed them.

After going back and forth between going to a run down place with no contract killers and a month-to-month lease, and a nice place that requires a year commitment and the signing of many forms you decide to sneak into your car and live there.  You can always jump the fence and use one of those fancy apartment hot tubs to shower, and have parties, and go to the bathroom.

Remember, drive safely, you only get one house.