Back from Vacation

Here's the trouble with telling anyone that you're going on a trip or vacation.  When you get back, they'll ask about it.  Everyone.  Not together in a big semi-circular room where you can orate all of your best experiences.  No, they'll ask you one at a time as they pass by.  As they pass by very quickly, they've got coffee to buy.  As they pass to go to the bathroom.  As they just walk by you, they don't want real conversation.

So after about six people and you recounting the main two things you did, all of the sudden you couldn't care less about your vacation/trip.  Sure, it was Venice, when the terrorists attacked and you and a gondola captain together fended them off. ((There was that one beautiful moment when the boat was obviously done for.  But the captain had to go down with his ship.  He sunk down to knee depth in the water, and stood there until he starved to death.  You finished fighting the no goodniks with your wit, and memories of that brave captain.)) But you wouldn't say that to a crowd of people throwing money at you, if you've already explained it to seventeen people who wouldn't care if you were offering sexual favors for their attention.

Then the next wave of people you encounter get up in arms because all you say about your trip was, "It was good" then punch them in the throat until they can never ask a question again.  Somehow they don't understand how you just got back and don't want to talk about your time away.  That's the last you'll think about it for weeks or months at a time.

Then, later on, you're talking to your old pal Elmo and one of your vacation experiences is relevant.((You're on a cruise ship and ol' Elmy is fasting for the next twenty minutes until lunch.  Just like that captain.))  You recount your tale to your compatriot.  Which pisses them off because it's been months and "All you ever talk about is that one stupid trip."  Then you say how stupid it was that the captain had to die because of the stupid terrorists.  "Have I told you that story, the one where he went down with his ship?" You inquire.  "You're going to go down on this ship if you're not careful!" Elmy retorts.  "I don't think me and this cruise ship are ready for that quite yet.  But there was that time a girl went down on me when I was in Venice, did I tell you about that?" It goes on until Elmo, with a strange glint in his eyes, murders you repeatedly again and again and again.

So the moral of the story is, don't tell people when you're going on a trip.  Or stop doing acid all together.