For the Service Industry

Here's the scenario.  It's a Monday without work.  Not vacation, but no work none the less.  The possibilities are endless.  Will you sit around and watch TV?  Or will you get up, walk over to your computer and watch Netflix?  It's days like this where the sky's the limit.  Maybe you'll read about Netflix while you watch TV.  Anything is possible.

Then.  You get the call.  The one that is bound to ruin your otherwise perfect Monday.  The one that wants you to do something.  Serving wine this time, another time watching someone's dog, going to the bar with friends, blowing up dynamite, wining the lottery, it doesn't matter!  Since it wasn't already planned, you're against it.  You scorn the person who just calls up, assuming you have nothing better to do then whatever it is they suggest.  So what if you don't?  This is your day off, and dammit you were going to enjoy it.  If it weren't for that person calling you, you probably would've written your story.  The one about the Netflix television overmind robot that you control and thus control America.  If you had the time that is.

After complaining for no reason for a few hours you finally acquiesce and agree to serve wine.((I will not make any references whatsoever about how complaining to someone would already count as serving whine.  Honestly, we're adults.))  When and where?  How long?  Why?  What did I do to deserve this?  Is it my fault Grandma died?  What do I have to wear?  Wine serving, really?

"Fine.  Yeah I'll do it.  Yeah, no problem.  Yeah, that's fine."

During the event you felt weird that old women were molesting you and taking more free wine.  Afterwards you wonder, "Why did only one old woman molest me?  Aren't I attractive and giving out free wine?  Molestation should abound!"  You're ornery about that.  You think about the movie you could've watched where so many old women molested the hero.  You must not be the hero here.

You wonder if this wine serving gig will lead to future gainful employment.  That conversation plays out in your head.

"Hey, you did really great tonight.  Really helpful, thanks!"
     "Hey, no problem.  Are you looking for help for any other events?"
"Well, we could always use more volunteer wine servers, of course."
     "Oh yes, well I've really been trying to cut down on my volunteering to serve wine."
"Oh, do you do it often then?"
     "It's my Kryptonite."

Wine serving.  100% of the people who have asked me to serve wine have gotten me to serve wine.  On my day off.  A day where otherwise anything could have happened.