Looking

Recently, I was urinating.  As a man, I'm going to be honest, sometimes I miss the toilet.  Usually only after 3:00am when I've been drinking.  We were just together for so long.  Anyways, I was in a public bathroom.

The number I called from the bathroom stall did not provide a good time.  There was apparently a perceived, but actually, non-typo, and the number, after being reached, did persist on preaching the values of one Yahweh. ((Careful now.  That last sentence may send you into a commatose state.))  Though the man on the other line did seem quite educated about the ways of the Lord.  He asked if I wanted to share in his recently acquired Jolly Ranchers.  I stated that I would have them divided up as the divine would see fit.  He ate all of them, threw the box on the ground and stomped on it all the while talking to someone I am not sure was there.((At least, that's what I assumed was happening.  It is tough to say from only hearing the events over the phone.))  One cannot understand the methods of the Lord.

After that I went to the sink and washed my hands.  At this point a woman walked up and began washing her hands.  After a moment of confused silence she screamed and ran out of the bathroom.  I'm sure she was rightly embarrassed.  I dried my hands on paper towels, as the air from the bathroom is dirty, and I didn't want to blown with force unto my being.

Upon my exit from the bathroom, there was a security guard waiting for me.  Apparently in this land it is improper to utilize the bathroom of the other sex, particularly if you're naked.  I tried explaining that I was just hoping for a good time, though I fear the guard misunderstood, as I was forcibly removed to an awaiting cop car, and have since been waiting in a small cell.  Not a small cell in the biological sense, as that would be physically impossible.  A small cell in the Bruno-Is-Quite-Interested-In-Showing-Me-That-Good-Time-I-Was-Looking-For sense.  I had my suspicions that the police officer knew of Bruno's desires and placed me there without accident.  I ask you to remember that one man's good time is another man's jail cell.