Against Internet Shopping

So what are the benefits of going to an in person store?

-You get to drive around looking for parking and curse at the jerkwad in an Yaris who zoomed into that sweet spot you were pulling into.  Three quarters of a mile away from the store.  During the holiday season it only gets better.

-You probably get to wait in lines.  Lines are a lot of fun.  Sometimes other people are in those lines, and you can comisserate with them about how awful it is to stand in a line.  Things during that conversation seem to be going well, so you ask them out on a date.  Just to ensure that the rest of your 13 minute wait is as awkward as possible when they say they're married/washing their hair for the next foreseeable future.  Maybe just wink a lot instead of asking.  Maybe also rub your belly.  Just you know, generic things line activities everyone does.  Maybe you drool a little too, lots of people drool.

Then finally, you're in that store so you can walk away with the item you want right then!  No waiting!  Who knew instant gratification as related to material goods would have come from before the internet age?  Where do actual stores really pull ahead though?  When they have to order in whatever it is you're looking for.

I enjoy spending time driving somewhere, waiting in line to be seen and then talking to a representative for two minutes to realize I could have just stayed home and slept in until 1:00pm.  Ordered my technowizardry while I ate my second bowl of Frosted Flakes.  That might just be me personally though, so I encourage everyone to try wasting their time.

However, you will have to listen to people gripe because everyone does their shopping on the internet and in person stores are dying.  Not a death like dinosaurs, in a huge blast that changes the world.  But like Old Edgar who gets bitter and bitches all the time.  He's on his way out for years and all he does is make you want to kill him.

I'm not saying that stores should have popular items well stocked so as to not lose business to Amazon.  Amazon is a good company, and stores should be honored to lose their business to Amazon.  But instead of trying to actually sell things at your store, focus on the human element.  Stop paying high powered executive salesman,((Note: Wino is an acceptable synonym.)) and start paying pretty high school graduates to hang out and chat with people at your in person stores.