Upbeat

My job here is to be upbeat.  Amused.  Amusing.  What about when things go wrong?  I hate it when things go wrong.  I know that's because I'm different.  Everyone else punches their grandmother out of pure exuberance when something goes wrong.  When things seem bad.  Grandma never did care for the good times.  But when dinner was bad and the cat died.  Then she was at peace, no imminent jabs or hooks for her.  No little billy doing his best Mike Tyson impression.  It was a damned good impression. Sadly, my grandmothers are dead.  So that leaves me devoid of a joy punching target.  ((How many dead grandmas does it take to change a light bulb?  None, they'll just lie in the dark.))((Tasteless joke.  Sorry.  Cannibals agree))((It's hard to stop once you start.  Ask grandm... oh. Nevermind.))

Upbeat!  Luckily I have a plan for when things go wrong.  Something that I can always fall back on:  Crying in a corner.  That doesn't help me get a lot done per se, but heck.  Someone's gotta do it.  I just want everyone to know; for your crying in a corner or shower or basement or hotel room or amusement park or car or at a party or at a funereal or on vacation or at the beach needs, I've got you covered.((Note: That list is in fact exhaustive.  You try crying in all those places and still have energy to go around.))

Not only that, but at any point I have a backlog of work prepared at least 45 minutes before that work is set to go out.  Does anyone else have the ability to turn work in late, when there isn't even a deadline for it?

And remember, upbeat is much closer to beating up than you realize.