About Broca's Area

I'm what some would refer to as, "Quite the hep cat, with a catywampus swagger that's the bees knees and the cat's meow."  So, needless to say though it is, I'll say it anyways:  I'm down with kids' terminologies and lexicon.  Their vocabulary is my vocabulary.

But it alarms me that some of our words are going missing.

What I believe happened is:  The valley girl part of everyone's brain was driving along the highway when it was in a horrible crash with all the words we use.  People can still talk, but sometimes the ends of their words just drop off.  The terms and phrases might never have come out of the hospital, or they did but they're just not the same.  It's probs not a big... OH NO!  That's totes unaccept... WTF?  I mean, irl this isn't a problem cuz it's just about how you sound. But have our vocal chords really become so tired with the tedium of speaking that we can't coerce them into going through with entire words?  In fact, yes.  This is a society that has a one character symbol for a two letter word. @Lazyness.

Don't expect more from your fellow people than an utterance such as, "Good dinner, like totes delish!"

Since we're not going to get around this shortening problem, I'll provide some tips so you can seem like a member of a generation you're not a part of.((Note, use this language at your own risk.  Even if used with technical precision younger people may giggle at you for trying.  They've also been known to use terms like, "fathead," and "fugly" injudiciously at offenders.))

"Probs not" -Prohbs naht
Used to imply that something is unlikely to occur. "Date him?  Probs not!"  Note: Never used as a positive, you aren't "probs going" you'd "probs not be going."
Valley Girl synonym: "As if!"

"Totes" -toetss
This is a positive exclamation/affirmation.  "Yeah I'm totes coming tonight."
Valley Girl synonym: "Like totally"

"Obvy" -Ahbvee
This term is used to declare a statement of something incredibly clear.  Usually used alone in response to another statement.  "So are you into him?"  "Obvy"
Valley Girl synonym: "For sure!"

Also, if you come across a word with more than one syl, just drop off everything after that, or wherevs it sounds good.  Advanced speakers can even do this with foreign words to make them mean something new.  Konichiwa -> Konich -> "Good," or whatever else you want it to be!

Now you can totes carry on convos with the pop kids.  But probs not really, you're hopelessly helpless.  Obvy.  After all, you're appsauce for brains.

Konich till next time!