Ticket and a Show.

How much does a ticket and a show cost these days?  I'll give you an itemized list of costs.

$42.00 - Ticket to see comedian.
$86.05 - Gas getting to show and friend's place and back.
$162.50 - Another ticket, for coming back from the show too quickly.  You know those "targeted enforcement area" signs that indicate you're more likely to get pulled over there?  That's a statistical sort of liklihood, in actuality they can still pull you over in other places too.  Don't drive too fast through crowded elementry schools is what I'm trying to say.

See when you're driving long distances and making great time, you should do so in a way that police officers do not take note of how great the time your making is.  "Golly son, I clocked you going about 80 there.  You'd be home in 1/3rd the time at that rate!  Why don't you sit in the car for 'bout half an hour while I sit in mine.  You can wonder about what it is I'm doing in my car."  He then whispers, "Honestly I just like taking my hat off, and putting it back on.  I keep little dice in there.  They rattle around some.  Kinda feels funny on my head, ya'know?"  See, police just hate it when people are getting somewhere too quickly.

On my efficient use of time ticket there was a further breakdown of all the different fines I had accrued and what they meant.  Things like "J.C.P./A.T.J - Judicial Computer Project/Access to Justice."  I didn't know you had to be charged extra for access to justice.  But that's well worth it, if you don't pay that one I expect they send you off to Guantanamo.

They explained each charge like the "J.C.P./..." and so on, except for one:

The obviously self explanatory, "COSTS."  Because, you know, people have costs.  You know the ones.  Like.  When they buy stuff.  Listen, if you don't understand costs by now, there's nothing I can do for you.

So the next time you're driving too fast, remember that it too has it's costs.