Because I follow these steps whenever I sit down to write:
Step 1 - Write silver
Step 2 - Think about how important build up is
Step 3 - Think about the fine line between building something up and pissing off an audience
Step 4 - Screw with the audience a little
Step 5 - Make the audience want to kill me
Step 6 - Write "Gold"
When I have a hangover and need to write I do each of those steps twice for my own Twelve Step program. But if for some reason those 6 steps don't work for you((Because you're incompetent, or whatever.)) I have some other methods to kick start my writing brain.((A size 12 boot to the temple is a good one. Write that down.))
-Gripe about not being able to write. I find it helps me, not at all, to complain loudly to myself that I can't think of anything to write and how I'm terrible at it. That really brings my mood down and I don't want to write anymore.
-Take any excuse whatsoever to get up ((One second refilling water...)) and leave my train of ((Cat pushed door open, must go close it...)) goods on it's way to Ok((Man Facebook is great. I could read about Elizabeth's conversation about how coffee snobbery isn't a bad thing forever...)) So really, I get a lot more done while ((Do you know how coffee is made? It's available everywhere so you just take for granted that it is impossible to grow and make...)) Then pretty much my writing is done!
-My final tactic for really hammering out quality writing is to remind myself that I have a pressing deadline and I'll never finish in time. Then follow that up with a "If I don't finish in time, I'm a failure" pep talk. Did I say quality writing? Because that's what I meant. Quality. Writing. Peroid. Exclamation point! Question mark? All of it, quality.!?
These are just my methods, so I can assure you they'll work for everyone. ((I believe this is the system Tenacious D used to write the best song in the world.)) Not only that but people who do these things will find themselves more popular with the opposite sex if that's what they're into. Or more sexual with lamps if that's the sort of thing they love.
Do you have any surefire Smokey the Bear writing tips that will make you write gold?
I put it on my todo list and the shame drives me to complete it. And the fact that my todo list has an "unfinished" bubble. This works every time.
ReplyDeleteAnd by "every time" i mean "within 48 days, tops".
ReplyDeleteAh that's a good point. A note to all using my system: I go through each of those steps over the course of 1 month per step. So while fool proof, it's also incredibly efficient.
ReplyDelete