Explaining Programming

For anyone not computer savvy, I'll explain what learning to and actually programming is like.  It's like telling the stupidest person you know, let's say "Jake," how to do the simplest task.  Jake isn't regular stupid though, he is all the way stupid.

So let's say, as a programmer/friend, you want to get Jake to go on a walk with you.  Mind you he's not handicapped in any way, Jake looks just like a normal person, he's got arms, legs, feet, etc.  Everything a person has.  Except, if you don't tell him right off the bat that he can use his feet he's got no idea.  You can't just say "Hey man, let's go walk to the store."  No, you've got to say something like:

{ Jake, this is where your instructions for our walk are gunna start

*You can use your legs
*You can use your eyes

This is the plan {

GoForAWalk(){

Use your eyes to see if anything is in your way {

{
A.If not, use your legs and move forward
}

{
B.Otherwise, use your eyes to find a way that's not
obstructed, then A.
}
}
}
}

Jake, this is where your instructions for our walk end }

So that right there would make it so you could say "Hey Jake, GoForAWalk, with me."

And he would!  Not a good walk, he'd go straight until he hit something, stop, turn until something wasn't in front of him then go straight again. But it is a walk, and you got him to do it.  Congratulations!

However, on top of being generally dumb Jake's consistently hung over.  So he's ornery about shit, specifically grammar and capitalization.  If you say to him, because you're tired, "Hey Jake, goforAWalk, with me" he will act like he has NO IDEA what you mean.  Sure, there's only one thing you've told him how to do, so that's all he can do.  But he would just sit there.  Saying, "goforAWalk?!  Wtf are you trying to tell me.  If you said GoForAWalk I could do that, but fuckin... goforAWalk... I have no idea man."  He'll usually be able to correct things, but won't unless you tell him that it's a good idea to.

This is why programmers are unanimously against physical activity. In their brain they have to try and explain these simple tasks to someone like Jake, and after about two minutes of that train of thought they never want to move again.