21st Birthdays

I know, you've just turned 21 and are wondering: How should I celebrate?  The most obvious answer is to call up some of your closest and not so close friends, grab a 1,000 piece puzzle and get down to business! Oh wait, that's how you celebrate New Years Eve, my mistake.

But many people on their 21st birthday go out and do what they've been doing for years, they're just not afraid of being arrested for it.  Killing hobos.  See, after you drink enough alcohol you're not worried about the police, bouncers, your friends, or anything at all.  Peeing your pants may even seem like a funny alternative to peeing in the corner when no one is looking.((If you're a guy.  If you're a girl you'll probably want to try it when people are looking, just to see how awkward it gets.  Maintain eye contact the entire time!))

Also, many people will tell you not to drink anything on your 21st that you wouldn't normally drink.  Those people are all undercover cops trying to trick you.  Obviously if you're under 21 you haven't had even a sip of wine on New Years Eve.  Ever.  Because everyone waits until they're 21 to have their first drink.  Really the draw of being 21 is in being able to go to bars.  That way you can experience old guys creeping on young girls.((It is really beneficial.  That way if you're a good eavesdropper you can creep on the same cute girls, sans creepiness!))

If tonight is your 21st I'll have a drink for you.  Probably if your birthday is within the next 14 days I'll have a drink for you tonight.  Also, if you look away from the bar for any length of time I'll have your drink for you.