Things I Pay Money For

This seems like its going to open with, "hookers," I know.  Followed closely by; food, razors and student loans.  Which one of those items is not like the other?  Razors, because they are about 1000% too expensive.  Its not that I grow facial hair just so I don't have to buy razors, I also just like looking like the type of person who commits crimes of passion in the 70s.

Food is a good thing to spend money on, but no matter what you're spending too much.  If you go out to eat?  Too much money for what you're getting.  If you cook at home?  Too much because you're eating more than cheap healthy rice and vegetables.  If you just eat cheap healthy rice and vegetables?  This is an honest place, so we won't go there.  Luckily with the holidays being near a lot of people are willing to give you cookies because delicious chocolate chip misery loves company.  So maybe you save money on food during the holidays, as other people are so giving.  That extra money gets saved up in the form of paying gym memberships and buying treadmills so you'll feel guilty when spending time in your basement.

Then comes the big money suck, student loans.  It was nice of the government to give you that money for your overpriced education, and they only charge you 6% interest!  The best repayment plan involves taking half of your money for 10 years.  Then you pay taxes.  Then you buy razors.  Then you tell the loan shark that you'll have the money in a few weeks if they'll just hold off on breaking your knees.  Then you buy food.  Then you change your name to Wesley and move to Mexico hoping that razors are cheaper there.

Well Wesley, razors are never cheap.  There is no such thing as a free shave.  You're still paying for the haircut.