Thank You For Your Continued Support

Dear faculty and staff of the university I attended.  This week ONLY if you send me $5 I'll go ahead and not send you the "as a center for higher education you really screwed me" card.  The quantity of those exemptions is limited, so first come first serve basis.  Any other week I'll still take your fiver, but you'll get absolutely no recognition from me.

Does $5 make a difference?  YES!

• I know as a private college you make a lot of money and constantly remain profitable.  So even just $5 you take from that to help me eat food while on the job hunt will help.  I realize usually you beg alumnus for money, because you have their email addresses and why not?  But this time, think of doing something that will help us.  After all we don't want to appear entirely ridiculously greedy and offensive, right?
• The more of you who give, in any amount, the more likely it is that I can continue to eat, and maybe one day pursue a career which is the only reason I went to you in the first place.  Minimum wage employment, while wholly satisfying, makes your degree less valuable per each alumni who has both.
• Donor giving helps to provide me with a better chance to actually have spare time in which to apply and develop my skills.  Your gift today will help me stay on trajectory to not having wasted thousands and thousands of dollars!

Please, show support in your broke alumni, and make your gift today!  

ps:  If you see it in your hearts, don't ask us for money, you have tuition and housing fees for that.  I know, I'd like it if random people I used to know just sent me money, but I generally don't have the hutzpah or brash sense of righteousness to beg!  By that, I mean they just never respond.